I’ve been asked to state eight things about myself, by Lumpenprofessor who I always want to refer to as Lump but then I check myself because I worry that the affectionate gesture may come across as insulting. This is my first ‘meme’ as they’re called.

1. Making explicit what is already present in the above, I worry about things like “will this affectionate gesture come across as insulting?” then worry about my worry in a spiral of pointless meta-feelings. On a related note I’ve been told twice in very clear terms to stop apologizing all the time, both times by friends who are very very intelligent, to such a degree that they’re a bit intimidating.

2. I have six tattoos, three of which are related to punk bands, one of which was a wedding present which my wife has a matching tattoo with, one of which was drawn by a friend of mine, and one of which is Lewis Carroll related. I plan to get more of the fourth type. I occasionally flirt with getting more of the first and I’m open to getting more of the third. I do not plan to get more the second for obvious reasons. The main obstacle to my pursuing the plan to get more tattoos is financial, though I also worry that getting more will keep me out of the gym for a while and I don’t need any other incentives to laze around.

3. I really, really love music. I like to see live music though the guys at punk shows make me see red – I once choked a guy at a show and I’m a lover not a fighter, these days we go to the orchestra a lot because my wife has a hook up. In fact, I went three times last week, one time of which I had fifth row seats for a piece by Bartok. I keep saying I’m going to try to actually learn something about classical music so I can have a response beyond “ooh that sounds nice” but I keep saying a lot of things. I really like to play music too but I’m lazy about practicing. I’ve played the bass off and on for thirteen-ish years, and guitar for eleven or twelve. I’m rather bad for that, because I just like to play around rather than practice and I mostly just like punk rock playing wise, because the result to effort ratio is really excellent. I had a banjo once but it got lost in a school play where I loaned it for use as a prop. I just bought a drum pad and have been practicing basic beats along with Face To Face’s “Big Choice” album (a recent rediscovery) and trying to do rolls while watching TV on DVD. I played drums for a summer when a friend left her kit in my living room, that’s when I realized I should have played drums instead of anything else. I was in a pop punk band that recorded a 7″ and some guy said he was going to put out our next one on his label but we broke up. Another band I was in did a CD but we broke up right afterward. Punk Planet really hated the CD, but they compared us to Crimpshrine so we thought that was cool. These days I’m more mature and could handle being in a band (all that stuff was 8-10 years ago) but don’t have the time. I futz with making music using a copy of Propellerheads Reason on a laptop that doesn’t have enough memory to really run it. I played trumpet for a few years as a kid. I no longer know how to read music beyond the rudiments of the time values of notes (half note, quarter note, etc) because reading guitar tablature for years was so much easier. I took a semester of piano lessons in college but they were very frustrating because the teacher insisted I learn to read music again and made me learn songs, when I wanted to learn scales and chords and exercises to play faster so I could treat the piano like I treat the guitar. In my final recital I got halfway through the piece pretty well then messed up majorly. I started again, had the same difficulty. I said “fuck” under my breath and picked up my book and walked offstage. Anything said under one’s breath in silence in hall designed for music performance is heard by all, as attested to by my friends who sat in the back row. I also took a semester of voice lessons though you’d never know (from listening to Minor Threat in the car a lot I can shout pretty okay, especially with a microphone, that’s as good as I get). I had to sing the Beatles song “Michelle” in front of a room full of people, it was mortifying. I fantasize about starting a grindcore band and a country band, because I have a combination of weakness for and ignorance of both, a combination which is singularly embarassing.

3. I live with a cat which will be 21 years old in September. It’s my wife’s, and is her baby and it literally just now peed on the floor (as I was typing the word “September”) because it was facing the wrong way and stuck its butt out of the litter pan, but at least it was trying to use the litter pan. It’s senile and cantankerous and I think will live forever. Accursed creature. Please don’t tell my wife I insulted her cat.

4. I’ve lost two jobs for engaging in workplace organizing, in large part due to poor planning and execution on our part. In the second case I got to collect unemployment, which was glorious but hardly a victory. I have few real regrets about this second case. The first was among the worst experiences of my adult life.

5. I really like to drink this drink with an offensive name, the “Irish Car Bomb.” Take a pint of guiness, drink about 1/8 of it, drop a shot glass of baileys into the pint glass, and drink the pint as fast as you can. It tastes like a chocolate milkshake and is fantastic. After the revolution this will be renamed and will be drunk at every meal.

6. I have two younger brothers that I love dearly and am not sure how to relate to. See fact #1.

7. I really enjoy watching TV shows on DVD. I particularly like British stuff but it’s been a while since I’ve seen anything new and British. I currently occasionally watch Rebelde (in an effort to sharpen my Spanish) and Freaks And Geeks with my wife. I just discovered Deadwood and the American version of The Office, both of which are quite good. I just saw the episode of The Office where the warehouse staff announce their plan to unionize and the big boss says “we’ll close the plant.” In real life they would also have fired one of them. And yet, it’s still funny. Go figure.

8. During one of my spells out of work after the incidents in #4 I wrote 23 short stories, a handful of which were published on the interweb. I no longer write fiction (except for the lies I tell in my blog and on libcom and over email and in conversations), mostly due to lack of time and a lack of fiction in my diet (garbage in, garbage out). I’d like to get back into that sort of writing someday, but more in the “I’d like to learn Greek” kind of way, “I’de like to…” as in “wouldn’t it be cool if…?” rather than any real intent to do the work required (and really, I’m way more interested in Latin). On a related note, my wife recently finished her second novel, this one which she plans to attempt to get published.

Some might try to challenge if some of those count as just one ‘thing’ but I insist they are: “thing” is of indeterminate reference and each chunk of text in the numbered sequence of chunks of text above meets the qualifications, so take that imagined critic! I neglected to mention that I minored in photography, enjoy sudoku, spend entirely too much time online, and dearly want to have children – sometimes wish I already did.

Oh yeah, I nearly forgot, one is supposed to tag others (I believe 8 others?) with this, like a chain letter. Very well. Ericco, Matt, Todd, Mike, Tzuchien, Colin, Eric, and UN: tag y’all. If you don’t do this you will have bad luck, like you won’t get promoted or you’ll get a bad case of the mumps or something. If you do this and pass it on you will see great rewards. Look at me, I’m clearly an unqualified success.

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