I mentioned before that I’m kind of burnt out in terms of my political work. I’ve felt like I’ve been putting more in than I’ve been getting back for a long while now. I don’t mean in objective terms – I know other people work harder than I do, especially lately (burn out reduces how much work I do) – I mean emotionally, energy wise. I also feel like I’ve sacrificed a lot of stuff in my other friendships, family relationships, school, and with my marriage, putting in time and energy into my political work that I don’t put into anything or anyone else.

I care a lot about the stuff I’m involved in (not least cuz I’ve put so much time and energy into it), I want it to succeed and I worry that if I step back then it won’t succeed as much, or that projects I care about won’t succeed. And I feel guilty for wanting to step back. At the same time, I feel like fear and guilt are two of the main reasons I’ve done a lot of my political work for past while, and that doesn’t feel very sustainable.

When I say, I feel like I’ve been giving more than I’ve been getting. That’s not a criticism of my comrades. Part of the problem with some of this is that I’m not really sure what I need or want, and so I don’t know how to ask for it.

Maybe this will pass without a serious change in what I’m doing. (That amounts to saying maybe what I need is time, or an adjustment in how I assess/evaluate my work.) I hope so.

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