Not enough. Never enough. Why do I live this way?


Here’s the silver lining, the internally shouted ‘fuck yeah’ moment. Three of them in fact.

Moments (I mistyped that the first time as “Monets”, which is funny cuz I imagine an impressionist painting of what I’m about to describe) 1 and 2 – at the bouldering wall… now really there’s little point in describing this cuz my descriptive skills don’t pay off. Eli (M) is the only person who will know what I’m talking about… Eli! Here’s what happened – I got the yellow route (you know, the one that’s off to your left if you’re facing the wall, the one rated a 2) from start to finish all good. I’d gotten the whole route before but never all in one go. Then I did the brown one (you know the one Eli, the one right in the middle). I’d never gotten the start on this one without my foot coming off. I’ve gotten pretty good (for me anyway) at this one after the start but I’d never gotten the start. I did the start like 5 or 8 times in a row, never got it. Then I watched this woman get it and the trick was that she shifted her weight sort of mid-crouch, putting more weight onto the right so that foot couldn’t pop off the wall. So I did that. And it totally worked. Fuck yeah. I’ve now done all the 1s and 2s on that wall from start to finish. I started a 3 but damn it was hard and I was tired.

Monet nombre trois (how does one indicate laughter in french, a la the semi-onomatopoeia “ha ha ha” in English? is it “jon jon jon”?) était (ou “été”? quel mot est correct? [mon francais est merde!]) in my yoga class. I successfully got into the crow pose for the first time. Here’s an image. Here’s an attempted explanation: crouch down, weight on the balls of your feet, knees pretty wide, arms between your knees, elbows and forearms near your thighs or so. Put your palms flat on the ground. Lean forward or rather stay where you are but pitch your weight forward in a slow controlled way so you’re taking more and more weight on your arms. Do this until pretty much all your weight is on your arms. Gently set your knees or thereabouts up on your arms, using your elbows/triceps as a sort of shelf. This increases the weight on your arms. Then pick your feet up off the ground. I’d never done this before, only managed to pick up one foot or the other in a controlled way or sort of bounced or hopped a bit with both feet up. Today I was only up for like two seconds but I was all the way up, not in motion like in a bounce or hop and I came down on my own by decision rather than falling down or having the momentum or countermotion from the hop or bounce carrying me back down. ‘Twas pretty cool.

And added bonus, my post- workout weight was down to 209 lbs. Less of me to hall around on the climbing wall. Short term goal is just under 200, long term goal is about 185. Feels do-able now. Rock.

Over and out.

Ps- name this Fugazi tune: “you’ve got a lot of questions for me.”