Kids these days, with their crying… I tell you what.

My kid speaks really well. That’s cool and fun but it makes it easy to treat her like she’s older than she is. That can be unfair when she has needs or acts in ways that are appropriate for her age but we expect her to act differently. She’s still a little kid. And her age isn’t really stable. When she’s at her best and things are going well, she’s like an older kid in a lot of ways. The more she’s not at her best and the more things aren’t going well, the more she’s like a younger kid. The other day after a hard time around dinner or bed time or something (a high needs time – tired, or hungry – and a high activity time where we have to get stuff done – cook, get her ready for bed or back to bed – rather than just hang out; when those moments overlap are among our most friction/conflict-laden), she broke down totally sobbing. That sucked. Later after she was asleep the thought struck me and my wife and I talked about it, our child is still small and young enough that under a lot of circumstances her main response to a problem is to cry. That’s developmentally appropriate, even if we forget this. Remembering that and reacting accordingly is important, and can be hard. It struck me again today that the same is basically true today. The better I’m doing, the better I’m doing… as in, I act my most developed furthest along and best self the more energy and whatnot I have. The worse I’m doing the harder it is to stay at/to be this best most developed self and the easier it is to revert to a worst self. For me personally this reverting involves the return of/increasing pressure from bad emotional and mental habits picked up from early bad experiences and whatnot. I feel like as I age, partly due to hard work but due to a lot else as well, the better I get at being better, but it’s in forward and backward steps. I think it’s possible to revert in ways that create new bad habits or return to old bad habits, but if reverting is kept to a low enough level it’s not near as much of a big deal and is just a normal thing, something to note, deal with, and move on.

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